It's tuesday, and my week already sucks.
Since Sunday I've been asked the tough questions. Mainly about two of my best friends being dead. Although one of the deaths happened over a year ago, it's even harder than dealing with the death that happened just a couple of months ago.
This week has been harder for others for some reason. I've been asked multiple times a day by random people if it's still hard to wake up in the morning knowing I won't see or talk to them.. And yes, it is still hard. Honestly, it gets harder every single day.. The hardest part is when I'm about to go to sleep, and thinking about how used to..when I was going to bed, Hunter would call and sing me goodnight, even though he couldn't sing at all.. And how Alexis would send me a text saying something stupid as hell, but at the end it would always say "Goodnight pretty nigga, love you <3" Every. Night.
And every morning, I'd have a new voicemail from Hunter.. He used to always wake himself up at 1:23 AM and call me just to tell me that it was infact 1:23 in the morning. I never would wake up for that call, but if I had my old phone..you'd get to listen to at least 34 voicemails from him. I'd always have a text or two from Alexis saying she was gonna show up at my house or that she was outside of my window..although that was never true, she thought it'd scare me if I actually woke up to it in the middle of the night.
And now, I don't get those 1:23 AM voicemails, or those goodnight texts.
It seems to get harder every day. Especially this week. Nothing was better than having them around, and now nothing is harder than having them gone-for good. Not too sure why this week is so hard, but it is.. and I'm gonna need every bit of strength to get through it without having another break down like last nights...
God, I just need strength.
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