Rough.

I was woken up this morning by a text from my soccer coach, telling me that we would not be playing in the game that we've all been wanting to play for the past two weeks. Moments later, as I was falling back into a deep sleep, my phone rang again. This time it was a parent, a woman who I've looked up to for years, a woman who is stronger than almost any other person that I know; she was in tears. She told me that she had been diagnosed with cancer, it wasn't severe and she said that they could take care of it easy because they found it so soon.. But all she wanted was her son. All she wanted was a hug from her son. All she wanted was to hear her son tell her that she would be ok, and then tell her a funny joke about a black man and an asian housewife.. All she wanted was her son..

It's funny, ya know... 15 months ago, she was sitting in a hospital with a straight face and not one tear rolled down her face.. She was strong. A few days later, she tried holding herself together, somehow she was still in better shape than I was at that funeral.. At his graduation I only stayed strong because I hate showing emotion, but that was one of the first times I saw(heard) her break. She was pissed, upset, infuriated, unhappy, disgusted, disappointed.. Every emotion a person could feel, she felt them all within an hour.. Once they passed where the "Moke" should have been with the seniors walking across the stage, she was done. It had all become real at that moment.. And now she's calling me, crying her eyes out, telling me how scared she is; how much she needs her son. And I can't do anything about. I can't tell her that it will be ok, because I don't know that. I cant' tell her that this will all be done with when treatment is over, because I don't know that. I can't give her the "Hunter hug" that she wants, because I'm not him. I don't know how to help her.

If you know me, helping people who are hurting is like a hobby. I try my hardest to stay strong for other people so that I can take care of the one's who are hurting. I try so hard to hide my feelings when others are hurting. I try to be "ok" so that others can come to me when they need something. In this situation, I'm scared to help her. I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing. I'm scared that my help won't be what she wants/needs, and I'll disappoint her in who she thinks I am.

God, I know you hear me. I know you have complete control of what's going on down here.. Please watch over her, somehow tell her that she will be ok. Give me guidance. Give me the confidence I need to help her like she needs me to. God, give her a sign that her son is watching over her and protecting her from everything just like he said he always would. I know he's with you, but I know he's still that mama's boy he's always been. God, help me out. Help her out. Help out that family, because this just seems unfair to them.. So unfair.