Look up..

I messed up.
I hurt my best friend and now our friendship may never recover...I was distraught, until I took the spotlight off of myself and realized my friend was hurting the most. My thoughts were all over the place, and of course the enemy was saying, "Look what you did!,You're a terrible person and I was listening. Until, I remembered that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. I also showed mercy to myself being mindful of the fact that I'm a human being who made an irrational decision in an unbalanced emotional state. I believed a lie and responded to it.

I was so ashamed of myself and even though it felt like my lowest point and lowest deed He was right there with me, longing to hold me, if I would let Him.

And I let Him.
Since this incident a lot has changed, not only in that one particular friendship; but in most of my others. I'm no longer afraid to state my opinions, but I know when to hold them back. God has put a lock on my mouth (most of the time).. I've been able to keep my opinions to myself when I needed to most, and also express my opinions when He thought it was right for me to step up and say something. But before I say anything, I keep telling myself to "Look UP!".. He will lead me to where I need to go, He will push me into saying anything that He wants to come out of my mouth, He will guide me down the right path if I choose to walk with Him, He will be the light in my darkness, He is my strength when I'm weak, and He is everything.

I've been learning a lot from Him recently.. and what He's been teaching me is good, but it's hard to go through everything He has been putting me through. I know He's there to hug and hold me, and I know He's going to light up my darkness; but I just want to know what He is trying to teach me while He's putting me through all of this.. It hurts like hell, but I just have to "look UP" and know He is here through it all.. even when it hurts.