It's not dead

It doesn't matter how bad the situation looks or how bad it stinks, it's not dead.

We've been praying, crying, and waiting and at some moments we've been wondering where God is.. He's there in the midst of this situation, feeling our pain, and interceding on our behalf. He's about to perform a miracle for you; He HAS performed a miracle, for US. Never forget that we serve a God who is never too far off that He does not feel our pain. Why does He seem delayed? Because the miracle is for you, but its not all about you. Those who witness God's blessing on your life, will believe too. We have to learn how to be selfless in our suffering, because all around we have unbelievers watching us. We have to keep our faith and remember that God ALWAYS fulfills His promises. Now, we wait on the Lord..

1 year.

Time flies when things are changing - that's what a friend told me today, the one year anniversary of my best friend's death.

I expected today to be one of the hardest days ever, I expected to be absolutely miserable. I didn't go to school, but I'm sure I could have handled it if I would have gone. I didn't really talk to anyone, but I'm sure I could have if I would have had more confidence in myself. I spent my entire day with one of my closest friends, although that didn't take my mind off it at all; it helped. and then I went to the hospital, which a lot of people thought would make me worse and make my day hell.. But it only made it better.

We got there and literally no less than 5 minutes after we got inside, the two people that were back there with Michael came out with huge smiles on their faces, telling us how Michael had opened his eyes completely and gave them a HUGE "Michael smile." It made my heart happy.

When Ashley and I went back, we didn't expect him to do much for us since he was tired. But we forgot to expect the unexpected.. He was high fiving us like crazy, sticking his tongue out and licking his lips, and when I told him we were leaving he wouldn't let go of my hand. It took me and his mom at least 5 minutes to get him to let go; of course I didn't want to let go, but he had other guests waiting for him. Hahah.

Michael made my day better than I expected it to be; Michael has given me hope. The hope that I've needed to get by, the hope that I've needed to be strong again, the hope that I've needed to be confident and faithful again, the kind of hope that has brought me back to God.. Michael is changing our lives through this storm, and when he wakes up from all of this; he will have one heck of an amazing story to tell :)

"How could I stand here and not be moved by YOU?"

Of course I miss Hunter more than anything, and I'd give up everything to have him back with me. But Michael has shown me how to stay strong through anything and everything, and if he can get through this; then I can get through it all.


Always expect the unexpected